This question was on my mind the other day while I debated on going to a family funeral in a few days. What is my passion that people will talk about? Who do they remember me as and did I have a positive influence?
My career was on my mind, and if it's the right one. The aptitude test brought up the same path I'm on with a mix of construction work. But why don't I do it every day?
My answer came in the least likely of places. A Miyazaki movie, Kiki's Delivery Service, has an artist character in it who talked about her childhood painting and one day she couldn't anymore. She started to make copies of art, but they weren't that good. She needed to figure out what and why she wanted to paint.
I see it as she didn't need what and why as a child, but as we grow and need purpose in life, what and why we do things becomes our passion. I need to discover this for myself. I need to discover my own style, my message, my medium, my content. And I need to find my inspiration. Without it I can't do anything.
I need to discover what and why I want to create art. If I don't do that now, so many more years of comfort in the average will pass when it could have been so much more! I want to feel something from my work. The sketchbook has begun to fill. Let us find out what and why I will draw. Wish me luck.